A healthy sexual legacy is a relatively new idea for me. Early in my own recovery process I began to realize the wrong messages I received about sex growing up – messages from my culture, my family and from my peers. I began to understand how that impacted me as an adolescent and as an adult. My wife and I made the decision that we would create a different kind of experience for our five kids and leave a healthier sexual legacy for them.
Creating a healthy sexual legacy for your kids is critical to their spiritual, emotional and physical health. It’s not easy but it’s worth the investment.
Positioned as the Expert:
Early on we did some research and purchased a children’s book series called “God’s Design for Sex”. We decided to use this book series as a resource to educate our kids early and often on the good gift of their sexuality. So we created this special event in our home called “God’s Special Gift Café”. I put on a suit and my wife put on her prettiest dress. We lit candles and scooped little bowls of ice cream. We shared the romantic scene together as we walked each of our kids – one at a time – through the books appropriately created for their age level.
As we were sharing with one of our sons – who was in the 1st grade at the time – we were reading the portion of the book that talked about the male anatomy. So I was reading about the how God created males with a penis and testicles – and he interrupts me and blurts out – “Oh! You mean the nuts!” He’d learned about male anatomy already – on the playground at school.
In that moment I knew that we were doing the right thing. By taking ownership of the communication about healthy sexuality, we had reduced the possibility of that back channel, ambiguous, slang-riddled “sexual education” that kids share with each other. We reduced the likelihood of shame becoming mingled with the topic of sex in his little mind. We positioned ourselves as the experts. We opened the channels of communication with all of our kids and we started a conversation that continues to this day about how wonderful God’s design for sex really is.
Empower Yourself and Family with the Truth About Sex:
One of the best ways you can make healthy changes in your own life and to ensure a healthy sexual legacy in the life of your children is through education. Do your research. Devour the literature on healthy sexuality. Read every book and article you can get your hands on. Educate yourself and then educate your children. Be bold! Start as early as possible. And if your kids are older, it’s never too late to start. Your children’s sexual future – and your sexual legacy – is worth it. Remember, if you don’t mentor your children in the area of their sexuality, someone less qualified will do it for you.
Photo Credit: photo-1444117002436-be442e10757e.jpg by Annie Spratt via Unsplash.com